The 17 Most Craziest Things That Donald Trump Has Said

“ Donald trump said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

Yes, that’s Trump talking about fucking his own daughter. Even Bill wouldn’t go that far. At least I don’t think. Okay, I hope not.

“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body.”

And here’s Trump talking about his dick. What I want to know is, uh, is where is this documentation he’s talking about? Produce the dick certificate, Donald!

“I am being proven right about massive vaccinations. The doctors lied. Save our children and their future.”

Yes, that’s right, Donald Trump is an anti-vaxxer. Frankly, I’m just glad we might have a President who relies on top-tier intellectual advisors like Jenny McCarthy.

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“I dealt with Gaddafi. I rented him a piece of land. He paid me more for one night than the land was worth for two years, and then I didn’t let him use the land. That’s what we should be doing. I don’t want to use the word ‘screwed,’ but I screwed him. That’s what we should be doing.”

This shit will get you shot on the streets. But hey, “that’s what we should be doing.”

“Laziness is a trait in the blacks. Black guys counting my money! I hate it.”

Okay, this one wasn’t actually from an interview or anything – even Trump isn’t that ballsy – but was reportedly said during a board meeting, and then one of Trumps’ associates snitched on him. This is something your racist old great-grandpa would say, right before starting gibbering about how he used to sell turnips, five for a Buffalo Nickel, back in dickety-two.